What should we ask our IVF doctor? Ask any clinic, including us.

Ask whether you need IVF at all, and if so, why this plan for you.

Both of you should be tested first: ovulation, tubes, womb, egg reserve and a semen analysis. The results often change the advice, and sometimes point to something simpler than IVF. Blocked tubes, a significant sperm problem, low egg reserve or several failed IUIs point towards IVF; a short time trying at a young age often does not. Then ask why this protocol, what response is realistic for your age and reserve, and how many cycles to plan for.

How the follicles are responding, and then how many eggs were collected and how many were mature.

During injections, ask how many follicles are growing and whether the dose or plan is being changed. After collection, ask for two numbers, not one: eggs collected, and eggs mature. Only mature eggs can be fertilised, so the second number tells you more. If a cycle is cancelled before collection, ask why, what the scans and blood tests showed, and what would be done differently next time.

How many eggs fertilised normally, how the embryos grew, how many are being transferred and why, and how many can be frozen.

Ask whether conventional IVF or ICSI was used, and why. Poor fertilisation points somewhere quite different from good fertilisation followed by embryos that stopped growing. On transfer day, ask what stage and grade the embryos reached, why this number is being transferred, how many are suitable to freeze, and how thick the lining was. Write the numbers down, or ask for them in writing.

Ask this about every extra test or procedure, and ask what the evidence says for someone like you.

Add-ons are extras added to standard IVF, such as endometrial receptivity tests, embryo glue or some embryo tests. The UK regulator, the HFEA, rates each one against the evidence, and for most patients none is rated as proven to raise the chance of a baby. Some are used in specific situations. Ask what the add-on is for, what the evidence shows, what it costs, and what happens if you say no.

Where the cycle stopped, what that means, and what will change next time.

Few eggs collected, poor fertilisation, embryos that stopped growing and good embryos that did not implant are four different problems with four different next steps. Ask which one it was, and whether the plan changes. Ask when you can start again: Dr Vani's view is that the most common mistake is "Couples wait too long to resume treatment after a failed cycle." Ask, too, what would make the doctor recommend stopping.

What the price includes, who does each procedure, and who you call between appointments.

Ask for the full price in writing, including medicines, freezing, storage and frozen transfers. Ask who will scan you, collect the eggs and do the transfer, and whether the lab is on site. Ask who to call with a question on a Sunday evening. If you don't understand an answer, ask again: no good doctor minds explaining twice. If explanations are always rushed, that tells you something about the clinic.